If you’re unhappy in a relationship, you probably have many questions. You wonder if you’re meant to be with this person. You question how long the relationship will last. You ask yourself if you should work on it or let it go.
But it takes at two people to maintain a successful partnership. Asking your partner questions can break communication barriers and give you the information that you need to make big relationship decisions. Answering questions in couples’ therapy also helps you uncover tools to help you manage future issues in your relationship.
Consider the following couples’ therapy and counseling questionnaire. As you read through it, ask yourself whether you’d like to discuss topics like these with your partner. If so, you may be an ideal candidate for online couples’ counseling.
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Couples’ Therapy and Counseling Questionnaire
These questions will help you get a sense of what to expect from couples’ therapy. Go through the questionnaire alone or with your partner to dive deeper into your relationship. Your counselor might ask similar questions to get to know you and your situation better. Your answers provide excellent insight into your relationship.
What attracted you to your partner?
By the time you are in counseling, you might be in a negative pattern with your partner. Remembering what you loved about them initially helps to break the current cycle. It helps you move past resentment and shift your perspective. This perspective shift is necessary to resolve many relationship challenges.
Why do you want to try couples’ therapy?
Answering this with your therapist gives the professional some background on the relationship. If you attend therapy sessions with your partner, you’ll show your counselor more about your communication styles. This helps the therapist guide your sessions in a constructive way.
When was the first time that you were disheartened about your partner or relationship?
Sometimes, the answer to this question is linked to the reason that you want to try couples’ therapy. However, many partners don’t seek counseling the first time that they’re disillusioned with the relationship. By the time they seek counseling, all of the disappointment can run together, making emotions high and communication unclear.
The answer to this question can help you get to the heart of the problem. It may also tease out hidden resentment that you haven’t processed.
A counselor may also encourage you to think about what the relationship was like before you became disillusioned. If you used any tools to resolve that situation, how did they work? If you didn’t come to a resolution, how has the situation changed your relationship?
Describe the last time that things were good between you and your partner
When you argue with your significant other or talk about your relationship troubles, you might say things like:
• We always fight
• You never treat me well
• I can’t remember the last time we were happy
However, those are often exaggerated ways of addressing the situation in the heat of the moment. When you work with a therapist, you should take your time to reflect when you’re in a calm state of mind.
What do you and your partner do when conflict arises?
The way that you handle conflict could provide clues as to how to resolve your issues. Do you argue? Do you disconnect? Does one person push forward while the other retreats?
You’re likely dealing with conflict at the time that you’re seeking counseling. Your counselor can see the way that you talk to one another and treat your relationship by your messages. Understanding how you manage conflict can help the therapist suggest techniques for resolving it.
What activities do you enjoy doing with your partner?
Work, volunteer activities, children, school and other obligations can prevent you from spending time with your partner. As time goes by, you might settle into a routine that doesn’t leave you time to connect.
Scheduling time to attend therapy together is one way to create space for the relationship. Making a list of the activities that you like to do with your partner can also get you back on track. It will remind you of things that you have in common. When you’re in a relationship rut, you can return to the list and choose something to do together.
What interests do you have personally?
People often blame their relationships for their problems. But some challenges that couples face arise because of personal dissatisfaction. It’s important to maintain a sense of yourself within your relationship. Many couples have different interests. Directing your passions elsewhere gives you a chance to learn and grow.
Therefore, it’s important to bring some attention to your personal interests. Your therapist might encourage you to pursue outside interests.
On the other hand, some couples struggle because their interests are so different. A counselor can help you balance your life so that you spend quality time as a couple and individually.
Do you trust your partner?
You must have trust if you want to feel secure in your relationship. Without trust, a relationship may always feel unstable.
Trust issues can arise at any time. Infidelity and jealously impair trust. So do previous experiences that have nothing to do with the current relationship.
When you avoid talking about trust issues, you leave a great deal of unpredictability in your relationship. Being open about this topic can strengthen your intimacy and create a strong foundation for working out other concerns.
What topic do you have trouble talking to your partner about?
It’s normal to completely avoid a particular topic when you’re communicating with your partner. Many couples have trouble talking about sex. This can create a barrier that leaves both partners feeling unheard and unsatisfied.
A counselor can guide your conversation if you’d like to discuss an uncomfortable topic with your significant other. Doing this often breaks the fear barrier and allows for more trust.
Do you need a different level of support, encouragement or affection from your partner?
Your partner can’t read your mind. They don’t always know that you’re frustrated because you don’t feel supported by them. There could be an easy fix to this challenge. Maybe you just need to voice what you need.
Do you feel like your problems can be resolved?
You may have strict boundaries for certain situations. Some issues are non-negotiable in a relationship. As open and flexible as you may be, you don’t have to compromise on everything.
It helps to put these on the table so that the counselor knows what they have to work with. Non-negotiables are not necessarily deal breakers. However, you may have to get creative to come up with a solution.
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How strongly do you want this relationship to work out?
Some couples go to counseling because they feel as though it’s the right thing to do before they break up. One person may agree to see a therapist to appease the other.
Couples’ counseling may not keep the relationship together if you have your foot out the door. However, answering this question will help everyone achieve their goals.
If you decide to break up, your counselor can help each of you say what needs to be said, manage hurt feelings and move forward. If the answer to this question reveals that you and your partner are deeply committed to each other, working with a therapist helps you overcome obstacles and work toward this common objective.
Try an Online Couples’ Counseling Questionnaire
If other types of couples’ counseling haven’t worked, you might want to consider online therapy. Regain takes the pressure off of the situation. Regain offers online couples’ counseling with a messaging-based format.
You and your partner can message the therapist separately or together. While the conversation will appear in the same private room on the platform’s interface, you and your partner don’t have to be in the same physical space.
You can take time to process your responses and keep your cool as you work through difficult situations. Many couples are better communicators when tempers are calm and the atmosphere is respectful.
All written communication will be saved so that you and your partner can return to it later. You can reflect on the answers to your question or refer to the therapist’s suggestion when a conflict arises.
Sign up for Regain by filling out a brief questionnaire. This won’t be as extensive as the questionnaire in this article. However, it will provide potential therapists with some of your background and preferences so that you can be paired with the right professional.
After you complete the initial questionnaire, you can invite your partner onto the platform. You’ll also be paired with a therapist. You can begin messaging your therapist as soon as you have registered and provided payment information.
Expect to answer questions like the ones that we have provided in this couples’ counseling questionnaire. Online therapy through Regain is extremely secure and private. You don’t need to share personal details. However, you should be honest with yourself, your partner and your therapist so that you can get the most from online couples’ counseling.
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